How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
This girl is more easily done than said...
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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