don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Never underestimate the power of titties
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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