Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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