did you get engaged???
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
