just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Bring me that man meat
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
