I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Randomize
