at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
