Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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