I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize