just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
