is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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