I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
