It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
