last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
