Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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