ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
