i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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