i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
