She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I wish you could order shots online.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
