Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
