That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
