I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
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