Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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