2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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