The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
