I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
