Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
