some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
