One girl and one boy is just not enough.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
