What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
