whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Every concussion has its silver lining
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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