Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize