Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
