Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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