I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
