jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
