i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
