Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
