my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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