I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
