i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
