you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
