We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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