Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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