Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
