This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Alive.
So much puke
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize