new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
