Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Semen is not good for contacts.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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