Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
