I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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