I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
