ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
