I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
