I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
