i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
