i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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