butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I just blew my weed a kiss
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
