Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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