It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
