that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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