I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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