okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
