Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You need Xanax blowdarts
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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