She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
