I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
