On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize