That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
We are all done wearing pants today
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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