I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
God I need to hump something, right now.
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