In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
