dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
